So we were watching the Bells of Saint John for a second time (this time with our parents) and we started imagining if the First Doctor was in that episode:
First Doctor: Why am I standing around with a bunch of monks?! one meddling one is enough. Oh well, I had time to work on my water colours, who is this woman anyway?
*Reads ‘run clever boy and remember’* Hmmmm, no, can’t remember, oh well can’t be important, time to move on.
At Clara’s house she is being uploaded. The Doctor rushes in and looks at the robot thing. He starts bashing it with his stick. Eventually it explodes.
The Doctor wraps a blanket around Clara and nose bops her.
First Doctor: Silly Child. Hmmm. Rest now dear girl.
He eats a jammie dodger and yelps in pain. he mumbles and groans.
First Doctor: (Mumbling) My fuffing tooth.
He leans over to see if Clara is alright, she opens her eye and his beaming wide grin is staring back at her.
First Doctor: Back with us, hmmm?
*Clara lets out a loud piercing scream.*
Clara: Get out of my bedroom you old perv!
Clara: is that a snogging booth?!
First Doctor: *scoffs* I knew Chesterton and Barbara would leave a reputation. No, my dear, none of that business I’m afraid.Not since Cameca stowed aboard anyway.
The plane is heading for Clara’s road.
Doctor: Oh dear, dear me, goodness gracious, hope you weren’t fond of this road, come along dear girl, into the TARDIS. Nothing can be done. There’ll be a big crater here soon. Oh by the way, you won’t be able to go home for a while…
The First Doctor rides the motorcycle across London and arrives near the Shard.
First Doctor: The bike’s a bit temperamental, let’s hope she works, set the anti-gravitational button! Ha ha, here we go!!!!!!!!
The Doctor drives forward, nears the building and instead of the motorcycle going up the building, it simply crashes through. The Doctor shakes his head and heads for the lift.
First Doctor: There’s a problem with the Wiffy?
Woman: You mean the Wi-fi?
First Doctor: Don’t correct me madam. Anyway, I’m not ‘me’, haha, I’m a robot version of myself, hmmm? Hahaha. Now you’re going to get a taste of your own medicine.
First Doctor: Come with me Clara.
Clara: Ask me tomorrow.
First Doctor: I’m not a boomerang, nor am I a bus service. dear dear, if you don’t come with me now who knows when I can come back to ask you.
First Doctor: So Clara Oscarson Oswinwald, time to find out who you are! But not really because I’ve taken off and I’ve no idea where you are and I’ll probably never see you again. Except apparently I keep meeting you anyway, so I’ll wait til I jump a time track or something.
—— Don’t know what this even is, but imagining One in new who episodes is the best thing ever.
Of course if some of these things happened then the rest of the episode wouldn’t have happened, but BOY would that be funny!